Didn't really thought a lot about it, but it seems like slowly I'm letting myself lost into oblivion between alcohol and sweet sweet cigars. Never really was a fan of getting a kick out of being high, but now that I see myself as I truly am it feels right to search for the perfect way to put myself to sleep. sweet, long, dead, sleep. I tried to let it go once and I couldn't sleep for weeks. I saw you in every woman that made me smile or did me wrong. All those things all together  reminded me of you. I went to the sea side where we use to  escape and I decided to let the pipe sleep for the night. I thought I saw you under the red light and it felt so real that when  I went there to check, the wall was still wet and the air felt salty, and sweet, and musky like your scent used to. And now I'm looking at the bottle, I'm looking at the pipe, I look under  the lights  and I'm to affraid to forget the shape of you to put myself to sleep once again. You are and you will always be my purgatory. I am forced to become a sinner to get a taste of heaven. But every once in a while I have to face reality  in order to meet my faith in hell.