Good hot summer eve.


   There was a good, hot summer eve. Nothing particularly  good was happening. But nothing bad was happening either.  I was just looking to fall deeper and deeper into the setee and to be lost into the blueish cigarette smoke. Nothing good was happening. But nothing particularly bad was happening either. I was watching her, avoiding looking into my eyes, rushing to get everything into one tiny suitcase.  like that weekend when we went to the sea side together.  only this time there was no holiday to go to. this time  there was no togheter. It has been around 3 months since  we talked, dined, or fucked. And now it just doesn't affect  me anymore. Now I just smoke my cigarette waiting for her to leave me for dead. I thought about this a lot and I am truly ready to embrace the lonelyness and the pain. I just didn't felt anything for a long time and i really miss feeling alive. I won't lie. I don't like this, us, the way it's all going to end. I thought a crazy mad love like ours would end in a huge cataclysm that will change forever the  face of the earth. but instead i get this awkward silence where you are doing your best not to look at me and I'm doing the best i can pretending it's all just part of being alive. She sudenlly raises her eyes and faces me at last saying 'I'm going to go now.". I give her my hand and say "wait for me, i need to buy some more cigarettes." And just like that I left the appartment alone, while  holding her hand.