Innuendo


   There is an old romanian saying that says "A woman should be a lady on the streets, a housewife in the kitchen, and a wild beast in the sheets"; but the new generations just act like tramps, pretend to be housewifes until they actually have to cook, and sudently become busy when you get them in bed.

   I heard this one today "Good guys always finish last". No my friend, good guys finish on her face. Losers waste their erections on Red Tube and get to hate women because they can't understand (or fuck) them. And bad boys finish every other time they make bail, but that is a whole other story.

   And this is part your fault, girls. You act so innocent that you almost start believing it yourselves. Young girls don't perform oral anymore, you are all dreaming about a latino stud willing to soften your mornings with a stimulating cunnilingus and a pinky finger up your ass while you're shouting as loud as you can "eat that like your mother made it!"

   You're all good girls now. "Take it in my mouth? That's way too naughty, baby." But how about when you talk to your girl friends about how you jumped that guy's bones last night for a ride in his BMW and a cheap cocktail, you silly girl, isn't that naughty as well? Go out there and explore ladies. Be open about it, cause' men don't suddenly decide to move in with you because he loves the way you talk. Believe me, after 2 years of relationship nothing will get him as hard as you shutting the fuck up.

   Men want a hot dinner, a quite place where he can masturbate in peace, and a wife willing to fuck his brains out. That's the secret of keeping men in your life: some good old fashion quality sex. And believe me, no man ever wake up in the morning and say "that girl is sooo good in bed, I'll never call her again!".

   Just as you can use Google to find out how to pluck your niples, you can find out how to give good head. Maybe i should start one of those online petitions "Stop abortion! Take it in your mouth!".

   You're all champions when it comes to confidence, and you all desire a real man, or an alpha male, while you have no idea how to make a freaking soup. You get all angry if we're ignoring you when you act in love for some reason, but you don't realise that you're asking a payment for a merchendise that is just not there. "Make me feel like a qween, tell me you'll give me the moon and the stars!". For what? For being alive and giving me attention? Thanks, but no!

   You have no right to feel sorry for yourself for having a lousy boyfriend. Do you want a good advice? Take it on your mouth for a good cause: You!